- Bullsh*t. Unfortunately I have found that social networking increases one's exposure to bullsh*t by an approximate power of 100000000. General bullsh*t is everywhere and doesn't normally register with me, but cycling bullsh*t is another matter entirely. I am talking about the whole:
-Why's that?
-Cos, well, errr, you remember that ride we did approximately 67 days ago where I accelerated out of that junction faster than you? Yeah that.
-Yeah but I completed the cafe loop 6 seconds faster than you.
-But I was on my winter bike and you were on your summer bike.
-Yeah but my summer bike is heavier than your winter bike.
-LOL yeah that's true :D my bike's awesome.
-STFU...why do you keep going on about it?
-You brought it up!
-Let's see who brings what up next cafe run shall we, after all it's the legs that do the talking!
-Speaking of which, I did accelerate out of that junction faster than you.
-Yeah but I did the cafe loop 6 seconds faster...
You get the idea. Some may call it banter, and I suppose it could be interpreted as such but when you read the same things over and over and over and over (ad infinitum) it does get slightly...what's the word I'm looking for? Answers on an e-postcard.
Then there's the whole, dropping not so subtle hints at how many manly hours of Manly Man Training you're doing. Before anyone says anything, I may do exactly that on occasion (although I don't call it Manly Man Training). but usually if it's something I'm quite proud of-such as 5 hours in the rain or something. But then again, I try my best not to ram it down everyone's throats like 'HEY. HEY YOU. LOOK AT ME, I JUST DID THIS MUCH TRAINING. AREN'T I AWESOME. BOW DOWN AND ACKNOWLEDGE MY AWESOMENESS.' No. I will put up a summary of my week on here most Sundays but that's more because I intend this blog to be a sort of scrapbook for the coming season, allowing people to look back through and see how I prepared for whatever I achieve in the coming months.
Going back to the Manly Man Training point, another type of exchange I've observed is something similar to:
-Hey, how are the squats coming?
-Oh good thanks man. Did 60 reps with 150kg on the bar last night. And then the same again this morning. Y'know, not much.
-Oh cool. I was thinking of doing that, but won't it like, wreck your legs for your daily evening sprints session on the turbo?
-Nahhh man it's cool! It's like a warm up innit!
-Oh yeah, I mean...hell yeah. By the way I tried going 80 reps last week and felt a bit tight in the morning so you might not want to try that...
-Oh no it's fine. I'm in layer 3 of my weight pyramid at the moment so I'll be fine with 80 by tomorrow. You know, you should try a training plan like mine. It really works.
-Hmmm I dunno...I prefer the more 'specific' programmes. Less gym work more bike time y'know.
-You mean like spin classes?
-Oh yeah, done like 6 of them this week.
-I don't find them that helpful really, I mean...the instructor never takes me past zone 2!
-Oh tell me about it! I actually had to put clothing back on last week they were just *so* slow.
Ok that might be a slight exaggeration but you know what I mean. Here's a thought, if testosterone was removed from this universe do you think any of the above would occur? The conclusion I have arrived at is that in order to avoid exchanges like this, partial or complete self-removal from social networking is required. After all, if someone you're riding with starts spouting sh*t you can just drop them. Simples.
And another thing, opinions. As Lord Eastwood himself once said: 'Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one' One hell of a quote. Speaking of quotes:
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. Opinions. Opinions are fine, you're welcome to them...but pleasepleasepleaseplease do some background reading before you express ones on contentious subjects. Specific example being the recent CAS* ruling against Alberto Contador; loads of opinions flew around the interwebs as soon as people read the headlines...but I just wish they would have paid attention to the wording of the CAS report (ok, not all 4000 or so pages of it...) before using it as justification or 'proof' for their opinions. Which is in no way to be interpreted as me being in favour of Contador or what he has/hasn't done-it's obvious that at the very least he has been exceptionally negligent-at great cost to himself. Whether he actively sought to cheat or not is a different question, and not one the CAS report categorically makes a judgment on:
The Panel concluded that both the meat contamination scenario and the blood transfusion scenario were, in theory, possible explanations for the adverse analytical findings, but were however equally unlikely. In the Panel’s opinion on the basis of the evidence adduced, the presence of clenbuterol was more likely caused by the ingestion of a contaminated food supplement.
(http://inrng.com/2012/02/contador-cas-verdict/) [very good for further reading around this subject]
So that's worth bearing in mind. The CAS decision merely upholds the UCI/WADA* appeal against the Spanish Federation not suspending Contador for his doping violation; and does not prove/disprove whether there was deliberate intent behind the adverse analytical finding. At the end of the day, he had a banned substance in his body-albeit in a stupendously small amount-and under the rules that=sanction. Those are the WADA rules, and they have been upheld. That is perhaps the biggest positive outcome in my opinion, anti-doping integrity has been upheld.
Feel free to continue branding him a 'doping cheat' if that is your opinion and what you wish, just don't suddenly claim it's been proven. Ta. And always reference your opinions. Student Pro tip right there :D
Stay tuned for part 2!
N.B: Any similarities to anyone living or dead, or acts past present or future in this post are unintentional. Or are they?
*CAS: Court of Arbitration for Sport
UCI: Union Cycliste Internationale
WADA: World Anti Doping Agency.
My macho training regimen; bought 4pack of TESCO finest Belgian white choc cookies, sat reading facebook, ate all 4.
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Oh man those are the best! I prefer to split cookie consumption into two seatings of two. Spreads the enjoyment out more, try that next time-you may see better results ;D
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